Numbers

Numbers. Love them or hate them they are such a permanent part of my life now. But I have to say the last 3 weeks I did not get hung up on the 33. I did well not focusing or getting hung up on how it just seemed to continue to climb little by little. And I found out a few things yesterday. Like....

The medical team was talking about me and my numbers. They were discussing what was the next steps would be if the number continued to climb. I found out that they don't like creeping numbers, but that they can jump up or down at times. So as you all well know my number was creeping. Creeping can mean cancer, apparently. So, I just looked at Chris, the PA and said I knew you were lying to me about not being worried. She was so funny back peddling- not worried just getting a little concerned because it is creeping. Well, knowing you are a topic of conversation is a little unsettling, yet I am so glad they took the time to talk about me. I am a catch 22. But what I found out and didn't enjoy is that the next step would have been the 2nd line of chemo- a drug I didn't even listen to the name of because I was in a bit of shock. So I am now very focused on 20 and loving the

number 20. It is my new favorite number. What is really cool is that my sister from NC was praying for that exact number. How cool is that? Chris came in whooping and Shelly and I started to cry in relief. While I know it may just be temporary it feels really good right now. I will continue to bask in this glory and in this victory.

I cannot help but restate the obvious, and that is the prayer that has not only sustained me but may well be what is helping to cure me. I still don't know when I get to call myself a survivor, but I do feel like one. I know it's premature, but I feel some freedom and normalcy and like myself again. I am trying to eat much better, aside from the occasional Taco Bell of course. I am eating many colors of the rainbow, even ate the tomatoes on the TB today, and you know that is commitment. Orange and yellow peppers, soups, and fruit smoothies.

I have to mention the blood drive today. It was wonderful. Maybe a little slow, but we did draw from 2 churches last year and got 68 pints, but we did get 38 pints today, and that ain't too shabby.

So 20 is a God send. You are a Godsend and I could never thank you enough for praying for me and my family, for helping ing my healing process. I appreciate all the comments you've given me, telling me that you are praying and I believe you. I love you my family, my church family and my friends who have carved out heart felt time for me. It's so very humbling. But I cannot wait until I can be the listener again, the one who gets to find out how you are doing! I still care about you, so don't think you're rescuing me from your baggage. I love your baggage and i so miss it! Normalcy returns, little by little. Strength returns little by little, and rest returns also little by little.

Have you seen the church?? It looks so awesome. I cannot wait to see it completed. Good work to all those who have been working so hard. The Welcome desk is gorgeous!!

Thank you for your love and encouragement.

I love you too.

Happy New Year. 2009 is- well I am claiming it for me and my other sister who is divorcing. It's been a very rough year in the Sharpe household. New year, new beginnings. No resolutions, just a little healthier lifestyle I think.

Vicki