Peace

Thank you all for lifting me up. The fear comes and goes, and perhaps I should have written that particular piece in my 'ugly' journal. I didn't mean to scare anyone. Sometimes it just hits and sometimes just venting it helps. I know and trust God can heal, it's just what if.... That's all. But then I have to return to the fact that I am healed in my spirit, that God already healed me in the most important way.

But I had a great nights sleep- and that rarely happens. I'm sure it's the One giving me some much needed rest.

Last night I took 6 kids to the Pistons (do you think they could have won) and we had a great time. Abbi and Austin got to bring 2 friends each and they all stayed the night. After all that fun it was when I was showering that the fear hit. Maybe it's because of all that fun. But my friend said it perfectly- if day by day doesn't cut it then minute by minute. I think I'm at day by day at the moment. And Shelly is right, the boat is coming to the shore, and if it capsizes I know how to swim- I'll swim in the love that Jesus has for me and the love of my friends.

The fear hits at the strangest times, and usually the closer a big appointment comes the more the fear manifests itself. But there are so many others so much more sick, children about to earn their wings because of the beast. That is torture. That is unimaginable. That make my fear so much less deserving and somewhat selfish. What's my problem...

I know and trust God is hear. I need to call out to him more myself, get back together with Him- FOCUS.

Love you all.

Vicki