No wonder

I was reading my bible today, one that has Max Lucado snippets in it. This one said "It's no wonder there's no wonder" and generally was speaking about all the discoveries we've had and how all these discoveries seem to take away from us looking to God for answers because we are learning the answers ourselves. We have no more wonder. Which made me wonder....

Maybe it's better to not know everything. Maybe it's better for us to rely on God and His knowledge and to remember that He created everything from beginning to end- that includes things we have yet to discover. Like cures, like immunizations, like foods that are healthy for us, like why some of us can't have children, like why some of us are or have been abused, like...the possibilities are unfortunately endless.

We'll never have all of our answers. And if we get too many and start believing in our abilities to discover and cure then we take the wonder of miracles away from God. All things come from God. We discover because God allows it to be discovered. We learn because God wants that knowledge in our heads and he wants us to question and understand. He even lets us question Him, His truth, His soverienty, His love for us. God is the only one who knows all. He is the only one who can cure me, or anyone else suffering with cancer of some other form of 'yuck'. He allowed the discovery of the chemo therapies many of us have endured.

I never want to stop wondering about things. As you know I like to have answers- like yesterday. Waiting and wondering about my cancer, my numbers, my fatigue, my fate is just unnecessary. God provides the answers, whether I ever know them or not. Like someone said the other day, I know the end of this story. But I do wonder when it ends. Is that good or bad, I don't know. I think we all do it to some degree. And although I don't ever want to stop wondering I want a cure for this beast. I want answers. So I suppose I am left with wondering about the answers, and trying to find the answer that God wants me to have. I'll never stop wondering about the how- never wondered about the why. The answer to that is why not me? We are promised a life that has difficulty, some of us have more than others, some things are worse than cancer.

One thing I never wonder about is if God really loves me. He shows me every day. Whether it's the Hummingbirds in the summer or the beautiful snow days in the winter. Some strength to use the plow, or to swim or to get thru the day or whether its just some good communication with the kids. I never wonder if I am loved by God. He shows me thru friendships, thru the church that has prayed me thru this, thru the family he blessed me with, thru the husband I really love and adore. Even thru face book and making connections from years ago, healing some old wounds, asking for forgiveness when I needed it for hurting others.

The wonders of Gods love never cease. He loves, therefore I will love. He creates therefore I will continue to bask in His wonder.

Vicki