Wednesday, June 22, 2011
TODAY'S VERSE "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." Proverbs 23:7 "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things." Philippians 4:8
TODAY'S THOUGHT Solomon was warning his readers that what a person says isn't always the same as what motivates them. He concluded that what a person really thinks in his heart or inner thoughts, is his true motive. The same is true of us. What we think in our inner self, what we say in our self talk when nobody is around, is what really shapes us. This is why Paul talked about the inner dialog so much. In today's passage he tells us to focus our thoughts on those qualities that God would have us focus on, those positive thoughts that reflect His presence in our life. He says to think on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. But it is not enough just to enter good thoughts, we need to battle those feelings, thoughts and core beliefs that are contrary to God and His word. He writes in II Corinthians 10:5, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." Today, slow down and listen to what you are really thinking. Listen to your inner voice, your feelings and self talk. This is where the battle for who we really are is won or lost. As attitudes, beliefs, assumptions, motives or predictions are discovered, check to see if they align up to Biblical standards. If not, talk to God about it. Confess and renounce "every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." Today, ask God to change you from the inside out
And that my friends is what I will be working on. Thank you for praying. I have nothing original to say at the moment, and I don't know how God wants me to live this journey again. But I will keep you up to date.
Love and hugs, since you can't hug me for real. UG!
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Ok, here's the game plan:
My port goes in on Friday at 1:30. Chemo will start on the 22nd at 9 am. The cancer is not 'on' anything and statistically we are good- whatever that means. I don't actually ask that question.... But good is good. Probably will only need 2 treatments. There is actually a protocol just because it happens so often with ovarian cancer. I will also be getting the Avastin, which is the study drug I did get the first time around. Good news.
Mom and Dad will stay with me again wed-sun, then my sister is coming into town.
My MI sister is coming to both appointments with me, and I am sure Shelly will be coming to chemo with us. I know you all want to come, but it isn't big enough....:)
So there is a baseball tournament this weekend so I won't see you on Sunday, probably not the next either as that is usually still a 'sick' day for me. We'll see.
So the whirlwind is just how I thought it would be. But I have time to go to Toledo tomorrow to meet Beth and the kids as planned... Nice that I don't have to change that.
That's about all I have. Thank you for your messages. I cherish them.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Today was supposed to be my 3rd birthday since my surgery and official diagnosis of ovarian cancer. But today I write to tell you that it has recurred.
Recurrence of ovarian cancer is almost a normal thing. Mine is not different. There is a tiny spot by my liver. Between that and my CA125 of 111 cancer is determined. Recurrence will be a way of life.
The decent news is that because I am so far past my original chemo treatments (2.5 years) and did so well the first time around that the nurse and doctor are hopeful. However I will know NO specifics for you until Tuesday when I meet with them.
We told the children today. That is actually why I am writing you. Your child may tell you this before I get a chance to. I wanted to be able to call so many of you, but I just couldn't. I also my have mislead you these last few days that I did know, but that was because we hadn't spoken to the kids yet and we wanted to enjoy our Willey wedding and fun weekend together. Please forgive me if you feel mislead. It was for them.
I will continue to keep you posted using this site. I don't want my FB page to be about cancer. I am sure there will be times, but I want this to be the main form of communication. That being said, if you know of someone who would want to be apart of this but isn't yet, please send me their email address. If you no longer want to be a part I also understand. Just let me know.
I am sorry for the so very bad news. And just when I got a cute short hair cut with a noggin full of curls again.
Thank you for continuing to pray.
No, I don't know what we need. I promise to let you know. I am sure this week will be a whirlwind.