Sponteneity

Today was so wonderful. My niece graduated today with her masters in social work from UM!! And that is huge news. She invited me to come to her house for a little party after. I was finally able to say yes. Don't have to worry about numbers, crowds, being too tired to drive, being afraid to go someplace without Tim. I did it. The kids and I drove to Lansing, stayed for a few hours and had fun with family and friends, met some of Mollie's friends, and then drove home. I felt free.

I haven't been able to just get up and go someplace for quite a while, not without thinking about my numbers, how tired I was, what kind of chances I was taking and then deciding whether or not to take that chance. I really had fun taking that chance!!

I don't even know when I get to call myself a survivor instead of a patient- maybe never because it's ovarian cancer and that brings a great recurrence rate, but I feel free today. And I'll take that since it's been 6 months since I have had that feeling.

At the Women's Banquet I was talking to some ladies, talking about the clear CT and talking about defeating cancer and how great a healer God is and I said if I can do this I can do anything- bring it on. Then I looked up to heaven and told God I was just kidding, please no more. I know God doesn't give you more than you can handle, and at times I am sure I couldn't handle this beast so God did, you carried me with your prayers. I also learned that He will take you to the edge of that place where you can handle no more- maybe it's a test, maybe it's so that we have no choice except to trust in Him and pray, and listen to the doctors.

So in my new found freedom I will trust in the healing power of Jesus, pray for continued healing, and listen to my medical people. I'll even change my diet!

Until another day,

Vicki