Sunday, September 25, 2011

Remission

I have great news. On Thursday I found out that I am in remission. I came home from a wedding weekend to a decorated door with congratulations and balloons. So sweet!
My PET scan was completely clear. My follow ups will be monthly CA 125 blood test-the one that is a marker for Ovarian cancer. As long as that stays within normal range I'm good. PET scans will be every 6 months. I am however contemplating not doing them if my CA 125 is fine. So much radiation. I need to look into that more I suppose.
I am still feeling vulnerable and not really able to shake the feeling of fear of it coming back again. But as Shelly pointed out, that's ok. Every month with have it's little moment of anticipation and concern, but that is normal. I just need to figure out another new normal routine and what that looks like. My two word story was going to be SAFE? SAFE. I want to get back to feeling that again, in the middle of my circumstance. I want to get back to feeling safe no matter what the future holds. But for now I am still a bit frozen, not wanting to feel to excited about remission. Stupid, I know, but it is what it is and right now, that's what is.
Now it's time to get my heart back into shape, my body working out and getting strong for Chile. I want to be able to go there and not be breathless when exerting myself! Stupid chemo that I love.
So please don't stop praying. I actually have quite a few things I want to write about but haven't been able to process thru them. So hopefully I will be able to do that soon.
Thank you all for supporting me again. Here's to NOT doing it again!
Vicki Pocket