Wonder

I am still wondering about why the postponement had to be, but that is ok. We took some first steps toward family health this weekend. We joined Lifetime fitness and spent a little time there today. Austin played some basketball and Abbi and Jay did a little rock climbing. I am looking forward to swimming, myself. I like to swim- not so much into the whole 'upstairs' department, for sure not until my immune system is stronger. So tomorrow after church we plan to have our first real session there. Jay is going to love that children's area. So, one step taken. Food is next, but that is going to have to come in baby steps, but I'm eating way more veggies for those darn flavanoids... oh the learning to be done.

Which brings me to my CA 125 which was 29 on Thursday. Yep, that's up, but still within normal range. It is really hard for me to not focus on the numbers when everything depends on the numbers- like white cell count, neutrophil count, red cell all of which affected whether or not I could have my chemo. Numbers are the statistics, they make the rules, yet we're not supposed to focus on them. Well, I'm trying, but it isn't easy. The fear? If it is raising while I am on chemo, what happens when I am off.... I know our great God knows no boundaries especially numbers but my head is mortified at times. So Tuesday we try again, blood work first to be sure but my counts should all be good so in my head it is THE plan. My NP will be there also so I can ask all of those scary questions I have, and she is into holistic medicine also so I have a couple of questions about that as well and am glad I can get some straight forward, trustworthy answers about some of it.

Good night and God Bless,

Vicki