Now I think you all understand why I have a journal called the Ugly journal. Some things just don't need to be shared. Partly because they are feelings based and feelings change suddenly and often.
Today a teenager got me motivated. Yep, one of those teenagers. He isn't mine, but he's pretty special. Simple words... you've done it before and you can do it again. And snap- that was it.
So, I wish I wouldn't have shared what should have been reserved for the ugly journal. I'm sorry for that. I have to admit that it really helped tho. Alone is not how I do life, and you all know that. Alone would be so unmotivating and unhealthy for my recovery-even the 4th recovery. And while I know I have said often that this could be the way the rest of my life is lived (and can be lived at length) that doesn't mean I was really ready for it. The timing is really bad. Senior in HS, a lovely exchange student, boys who are about to start baseball.... However, now is better than spring or summer that is for sure.
Onward we go. I'm getting ready.
Lots of love,
Vicki
I'm so glad you shared your "ugly" Vicki. It's in the purging of these things that healing is born. I felt privileged to get a glimpse of your beautiful heart, even in the "ugly" and dark. It's no place to be alone, and by sharing, I am certain that prayers for your heart and your health were mightily storming heaven's gates. I know it was happening from our house around the corner. I love you. More than you know. Onward we go friend! FLB.
ReplyDeleteI love you Vicki Willey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mary c
ReplyDeleteHe makes beauty from the ugly. Share away my love, that is how support is born and the uglier the ugly, the more beautiful the beauty - and, oh my sweet friend, He is SO beautiful in you.
ReplyDeleteOh, and, XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO ... and so on...
You my friend are still human which means you come with the good, the bad, and the ugly.... and out of the darkness there is light and thru the valley there are better days. Someone will always have life better and someone will always have life worse....its what we make of each day. I love you and your spirit, good, bad, or even ugly! Maybe God needed you to get show everyone your ugly to make the Miracle even more beautiful!
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