KAPOW

Anyone else from church get beat up yesterday? It was a good beating, don't get me wrong. Kind of made me want to whine about whining.

Relationship- it's all about our relationship with Jesus. A foreign concept to some 'religions' who do set up those rules and regulations to make you a good (fill in the religion of choice). I dropped religion long ago. Repeating text that was memorized and regurgitated did nothing for my heart. Finding a Jesus who was real, who was mine, who is yours, was very real. It changed my heart, changed how I look at people, talk and react, live and breath. It definitely changed how I fight. I've been known to chase after a good fight- literally. But I've never actually been in a fist fight. The fights I sought usually revolved around a sister or friend who was being threatened or wronged. I have a strong sense of loyalty to my friends and sisters. Some of you have seen that, some haven't. It can be ugly at times, but only because of the deep love for these people. Add a husband and 3 children and you have an instant recipe for a strong defensive strategy. (Please do not mess with my kids!!)

I like to move forward, to be propelled forward. I've never had to lean in to God like I have this past year, that is for sure. I am very glad I had some practice, though, before cancer entered my life- and yours. Although I was, and at times still am, scared about the future, I never was mad at God or blamed Him for any of this. That is big I think. I've had enough experience leaning on Him in the smaller things (comparatively speaking) so I was able to lean in during the beast of burdens.

KAPOW! That video was amazing. Doesn't He care that I am perishing?( I don't mean I think I am dying, but we all will) Doesn't He see my storm? Doesn't He care enough to calm it for me, too? Maybe Jesus was just pretending to be asleep on that boat. Maybe it was a test- to see if the disciples knew Him at all. They didn't, until that day. I think Jesus was asleep because He was resting in the knowledge of knowing. Knowing that God is right in the middle, down in the hull of our boat in the storm. Personally I get so sea sick. Tends to be how I react at times, too. Make myself sick with worry, or fear, or longing, or confusion, or denial, or avoidance. When I do finally call out, Jesus always answers me. And that unexplainable peace, that peace that passes all understanding, is mine. It's inexplicable if you've never experienced it. I mean really, what's there to be peaceful about in any storm we have? But KNOWING that I am not in control, that God has my back, no matter how the storm ends, is reason for praise and peace.

I used to think the song "Lean on Me' was written from a people perspective. Maybe it was divinely inspired from Jesus' perspective.

"Lean on me, when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on. For, it won't be long, till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on."

Guess it is from a people perspective since Jesus doesn't need to lean on anyone for support. Thanks for being my support.

Andy said that Jesus is in our boat and if we would just lean in, take that first propelling step forward, God WILL rush in, and that is faith in action.

I John 4:18 says, There is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

You cannot find perfect love anywhere here. People are just not perfect. Only Jesus can give that to us. Yet another free gift if we would only receive it.

So as I've been saying, love on.... in Jesus name.

Vicki (and I think Polly was here today)