Almost There

I'm sitting here with my sweet sister in law, thinking about the day. I went to my friends' dads viewing today. The fun thing about viewings is finding friends from long ago and reconnecting even if it is for just a moment. Seeing all the sisters together today was really nice. Their house was the house of choice for hanging out. Great location, fun sisters, big sisters, crazy sisters, and even crazier friends. It turns out it was THE house to be at. So many people, so many memories of childhood and growing up. I think I was pierced more than once at that house. Just the ears.... I wish I had so many more memories with more people. But it was fun. But me and those girls, we have memories only we share!

I've heard so much about how much better I am looking and how cool my hair is and what a miracle I am. I've heard about feeling like it's a new beginning, a new life, the butterfly analogy. Thank you so much. But I am hesitant to go there because it is not beginning again, but continuing on. There is no starting over from where life got hard. There never is, for any situation. All we have are the memories, the strength gained, and the next steps to take. I do feel really good, tired at times. I am still having some issues with my tummy, though. I am really sick of my mouth feeling swollen and hurting. My hip hurts like the dickens. And I am still really good at whining!! My problem is with the new normal- moving out of what used to be and into the now of being a cancer patient in remission. So full of doctors and tests and blood work and rebuilding.

Rebuilding it is. I like it. My plumbing got a little old and needed repairing. Now it needs to have a little more pressure put on it to get it all working again. Not bad pressure, but pressure from my head and my heart to make conscientious decisions about what I do and eat. There is a purpose for it all.

Rebuilding after a death is hard work. I feel so badly for my friends because they loved their daddy. It will be hard figuring out what is next and how to move on. But like all of us have had to, they will and they will be the stronger and more loving and compassionate for it.

There is a huge purpose for you in my life, too. Thank you for cheering me on, for letting me cry, for making dinners, for sending cards, for being a facebook friend, for understanding when I can't remember, for double checking my work, for praying for me, for passing my request on to others, for letting me still serve and lead, for asking about and caring about my kids, for going with me to appointments, for listening, for letting me listen, but mostly for going with me on this journey. I don't think this journey has an ending, but I am almost there, to the point of feeling healthy and healed. But I've always felt loved and supported.

Love to you all,

Vicki