Worry

Matt 6:27 You cannot add any time to your life by worrying about it.

Wow. I mean I've heard that before, but at this point in life I sure wish you could add time- I'd be alive for a really long time. So would many of you!

Worry just adds to our problems: anxiety, stomach aches, head aches, sleeplessness- have I mentioned I don't sleep well? It's just so easy to worry. We worry about our children most of all. That is what I worry about most. How this journey I am on, facing cancer, chemo, mortality, terror, miracles, friendships renewed,- not all bad- but I worry about how it will affect them. I hope I've faced it well in their point of view. I hope they have seen me lean on God and not just scared. I hope that they have noticed how much people reach out to others in a time of dire need. I hope they see the importance of that kind of compassion and life giving/changing effects it has on others. I hope they learn to love more.

Worry only had a hold on me occasionally now- better than before so I suppose any improvement is good. What is funny is that when I want to find out some information about anything to do with ovarian cancer they always talk about how it is the deadliest of gynecological cancers. NIce, huh. Like we don't already know that and need that reminder. I was reading about a future/possible vaccine for OC and that is how they started it- Why I ask you? Just talk about the vaccine and how good it is and how it's going to eliminate the cancer itself. ARG!! Then they go on to talk about a study with the vaccine- but you have to have a recurrance, a second round of treatments intraperenially- meaning in your belly- which greatly diminishes the quality of life for the patient during treatments. For me, finding out that chemo was not as bad as I thought it would be is part of what got me thru it- knowing I'd only feel yucky for a couple days. I know I was fortunate in that. It's just strange that one would have to go thru so much before getting the vaccine- I know it's because it is only a trial thing, but......

And no, I am not in a bad place or anything- just annoyed at how things are worded sometimes. I want to be more informed about my cancer but I really don't need to be reminded of how treatments haven't really advanced much compared to others, and how rotten it is, what the mortality rates are... blah blah blah.

Some information is better only once.

Thanks for the venting session.

Love to you all.

Vicki