Blooming

Rise up oh God, compel us to move, as we wait on you, our faith is in bloom...

Did you sing it with me. I couldn't help but start to write in my head during the service today.

Compel us to move. I'd have to say He has compelled me to move alright. Out of my comfort zone of being the listener, confider, and encourager to being the comforted. Compelled to move into a healthier life style. Compelled to be so vocal about what God is doing in my life, in my heart. I would never admit to being quiet, but compelled to share- I'd say that is a stretch for my faith walk. God has compelled me to write for Him. To write my heart. To write this journey. To put my thoughts and feelings out there. That is NOT me. It must be him because there are times I re read what I wrote and have little memory of writing it- and no, it's not the medications!!

As we wait on you... Well you already know how I feel about waiting. I don't much like it. But I must be getting a little better at it since I didn't fall apart before my last CA 125. 'I'm waiting on you, I'm waiting on you, to show yourself true, to make all things new, My faith is in bloom....' Waiting makes your faith bloom since there is nothing else that you can do. Waiting forces you into a panic or a quiet place of refuge. I lean toward the panic end most of the time, but cancer does that for you. I am finding a quietness, though. I'm not sure I was prone to panic before cancer.... more growth. But I also know I have that human side where the panic begins, but it always seems to end in the hands of God and my panic subsides, if but for a moment.

My faith is in bloom.... Every event, every situation, every change, every good moment and every bad brings us to a place of growing our faith. I am living a constant growth factor right now. Each new phase, new test, new stupid number gives me the opportunity to grow, to bloom in His word. His word, His love, His divine ordinance over us, now matter how good or bad the circumstance brings us all to the same place. Bloom where you are planted. Our faith doesn't just bloom during the good, in fact I would argue it blooms when we are faced with adversity. But each glimmer of hope, each kind word, each time someone speaks truth to you (even hard truth) brings us closer to God. Every time we get closer to God our faith becomes more real, bigger, a sunflower instead of a crocus.

Although our journeys are different, our God is not. He is there to carry us if we choose to let him. Everyday a chance to choose is handed to us. Everyday is fresh and new and full of wonderful God moments we should all start recording. Everyday has it's own little miracle, it's own words from God for us. But we need to take the time to see and hear them. We need to come up out of the snow, like the crocus, and be only 4 inches tall, but a beautiful blossom in the middle of a season of hard weather. And once the hardship becomes lessened, or even if it doesn't and it is our hears that become less burdened we need to continue to reach up to Him, and to grow, like the sunflower, continually reaching upward, continually facing the 'son'.

No matter how much faith we have there are daily opportunities to make it bloom into something a little more. By giving, by receiving, by studying, by talking, by writing, by singing... the possibilities of growing are as endless as the miracles and the everyday life he breathes into us. Grab your day by God's yoke. Take your moment of peace and spend it with him.

He will rise up within us, compel us to move, continue to make us wait until our faith is in bloom. Listen to your inner flower. Me? I'm a tulip. Rising up thru the newly warmed earth, in different hues of pinks (of course) only to be eaten by the stinking deer I love so much. What I mean by that is even though tulips are so beautiful, so new to the season of spring, they are put to the test by harsh weather, and animals. I have yet to see my tulips because the deer eat them every year. As my tulip is food to another- so hopefully my story can be food for your soul, thru Christ. Not my story, but his be told thru me and my journey with cancer.

Thank you for coming along with me. I pray we won't have to do it again.

All my love,

Vicki