Monday, May 7, 2012

Mission Impossible

I sometimes wonder how all these smarts can stay inside one head.  I know a lot; like the thingy I bought for my spices won't fit in that cupboard; and I know I love 80's music; and I know I hate to dust as does my piano.  But I also know that I don't have a clue about what my mission is supposed to be.  I thought I did- and then the walls came a tumblin' down-again.

The question is... why are there walls?  When did those go up and who the heck built them?  Shame on you!  Now a wall in my store room so I can have a real office for the scanning business, that is necessary. The walls around me, keeping things in, keeping things out, not so much a necessity.  Things include you, me, God, peace, faith, and hope.  There I said it. How did those walls get there?  Did they just get thicker with each difficult life event?  Maybe I've never let Him crush them completely.  I don't think that one is the answer.  But I did do some digging...

James 5:14-16:  Is any of you sick?  He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord.  And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up.  If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Check.  We did that on Sunday and it was uplifting and wonderful.  I so wish I would have remembered to turn on the voice recorder on my phone so I could replay it. But I do remember the oil being put on my forehead in 3 distinct rows, each with its own Jesus name.  I remember people asking for healing, for courage and trust.  But mostly I remember feeling loved for and grieved over and accepted.  I remember my sisters hand with her boyfriends on my knee, Shelly's hand holding minenby my side both of our thumbs stroking the others hand, and Tim's hand grasping mine tightly.  Teri's hand was on my leg, and then many hands whose owners I don't know on my shoulders and back.  People in the seats praying earnestly in an uncomfortable environment.  My parents and Tim's Dad came.  Thank you all so much.

So the prayers of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Is 57:19:"...Peace, peace, to those far and near," says the Lord.  "And I will heal them."
Is 32:17:  The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever. 
John 14:27:  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Luke 7:50; ..."Your faith has saved you; go in peace." 

Big fat FAIL for me. Righteousness brings peace.  Peace brings faith.  And faith leads to hope, love, forgiveness....

We are given the peace of Jesus.  I cannot wrap my head around that but I am going to try.  Even moreso I cannot wrap my head around righteousness.  Here's the definition
righteous livinggoodvirtuousuprightupstandingdecentethical,principledmoralhigh-mindedlaw-abidinghonesthonorable,blamelessirreproachablenoblesaintlyangelicpure. ANTONYMS sinful.
It looks to me like righteousness needs to come first. The opposite of sinful.  Wow I'm rolling all this around in my head- and I don't think it'd be helpful to share that.

I get this tho: righteousness leads to peace which leads to faith which leads to healing. I know something else too. I will be healed.  It is not God's will for me to suffer, to have cancer 3 times and all the effects of the medicines to try to defeat it.  But God did not give me cancer.  So if anyone is mad at God you probably should stop that.  Why hasn't he healed me miraculously and completely?  I don't know.  There is an answer somewhere, in someone, for someone, but we may never know what that answer is.  So I'm going to work on the righteousness part of the character of God, and then peace will follow.

A little something from a little book:
Is 32:2  "And a man shall be as...the shadow of a great rock in a weary land."
Journeying one night in the wilderness of central Africa in a section plagued by many ravenous beasts, we found no place of safety till we came to the shadow of a great rock, where we sat down with our backs to the rocks and, building at our feet a great fire, found rest and refreshing for the next day's still weary journey.  O weary child, when your strength fails and you cannot go any further, sit down and lean back in the shadow of your Lord, upon Him.  Build there in prayer the fire of faith and find rest and refreshment for your onward march.

Onward righteous, faithful, peaceful friends.  Lets build a huge fire pit and warm our souls.  I can feel it starting.  Mission Possible.....

4 comments:

  1. Scoot over a bit Vicki. I'd like to sit down and lean my back against that rock with you. I'll close my eyes so there's no distractions and pray that fire of faith into being. I'll pray for you and many others that are heavy on my heart today. And

    Trust in the Lord oh my soul and let all that is within me praise His Holy name.

    Vicki, you are beautiful inside and out.

    Praying for you.

    Love,
    Laura

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  2. Vicki,

    **excuse the typo’s/ run ons**

    Today’s bible verse on my phone: Isaiah 53:5 NIV “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for out iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed”. AMEN to that!!!!!! We are healed through the cross and WE (you and me) are made in his image… therefore we are perfect! This cancer cannot continue to manifest within your body because your God’s girl. I am interceding on your behalf, praying, pleading, knocking, asking and seeking God to not just heal your earthly body, but that you will have double portion of strength, wisdom, love, hope, faith, determination, to keep pressing IN and ON! No weapon shall prevail against you in JESUS name… although that doesn’t mean weapons won’t be made!!! (I learned that in Haiti 2011) . I love that you asked the body of the church (elders/pastors/family/friends) to lay hands on you. I got glory bumps reading that…. I can totally relate to the feeling just wow I can’t find the right word to use but maybe POWERFUL?!?!?! I was in the hospital in 2006 getting tested for stomach cancer and my best friend’s church pastors came with a fruit basket and oil! I remember for some it might have been uncomfortable but there is healing through prayer, love of family and friends, and scripture. I also wish I would have recorded that day. Don’t be bummed out that you didn’t record that day just keep on journaling your memories and thoughts. Live that recording through prayer, worship, family/friends, and quiet time—just listening! I personally would recommend just taking yours or the kid’s iPod and spend some quiet time alone somewhere beautiful like Stoney creek…. just alone with God. I know for myself to heal (whether physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually) healing comes from listening, jumping into God’s presence even if you have to drag yourself there, embracing his arms even though your pissed and allowing him to carry you even you want to kick and scream. I see in myself and in other people want healing (whatever kind it maybe) and sometimes it’s there but we want something else and don’t grab on. I am proud of you for the strength and perseverance you have--- you are a beautiful daughter of God. Thank you for sharing your thoughts/feelings/emotions publicly online. Again, praying for you! My new favorite phase is …..”My mouth establishes praise to silence the enemy”…. That was from one of my bible study leaders… it’s a great reminder that in JESUS NAME the enemy must leave!

    Love your friend & sister in Christ,
    Meghan Karnes

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  3. Oh my dear, sweet Vicki. The sugar to my salt...... you are such an amazing a beautiful gift from God. How blessed am I to have you as such a dear friend and loving "sister." Your faith and love is amazing - you "blow me away." While God was sending "hefty kicks" my way, you loved me. You loved as I slowly "got it." Your gentle soul and confident presence moves me. I have always recognized God's work in you. (Yes, I was peeking over MY wall at you the whole time!) You've "chisselled" away at MY walls for all of these years; never tiring, never throwing down your hammer and walking away. I've always known that your tenacity came from Christ and without Him, I know you would have grown weary. There is no doubt in my mind. So as you continue your "journey," I too shall continue on with you. I shall never grow weary of sharing in your "journey." I shall never grow weary of loving and learning from such an amazing sister like you!

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  4. Preshy, our healing isn't contingent upon what we do (or do not) do--it's completely Jesus. There are PLENTY of examples in Jesus' ministry that he healed people who didn't even believe in him. You are made righteous because of Christ in you, and as believers we are to seek out holiness, but your right standing with God happened upon salvation. God doesn't see you as unrighteous, but as righteous because He sees you in Christ. I will not presume to understand the "whats" and "whys" of all of this. You, my precious friend, are worthy of every good and perfect gift that our Father has. For two weeks now I've racked my brain until it hurts trying to seek out an answer. Sobbing, I've had to just surrender to His sovereignty, accepting his permissive will for now, but begging him to heal you. It's about the only prayer I can utter these days. In the midst of it, a fight is rising, and I echo Shelly's sentiments above, I will NEVER leave, I will NEVER tire of walking with you and fighting for you--because you have so selflessly displayed the character of Christ to me in my struggle. I love you deeply, and will be by your side every step of the way.--CC

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