Packing

Never have I left the majority of my family for a week. That is exactly what I am doing come Sunday. I am going to CIY with our senior high group. I am excited and a tad nervous, but I really feel led to be going on this. It's just that it is the week after VBS and there is no time for a rest.

VBS was awesome as always. I missed being with the children, though. I have always enjoyed and thrived on working with those preschoolers. Sure looked like they were having fun. I got to change where I usually volunteer and do the mission project for VBS. We chose Team Timmy and The Bottomless Toy Chest and the kids brought in so many games and toys, and toiletries that their cars were full!! What an awesome witness. Plus both charities were represented at the closing ceremony and got to speak to the children for a moment. It was wonderful that they were able to see how much came in for them.

So I just can't envision being away from home- oh wait, let me try. No laundry, cooking or cleaning. HMM. No gardening, no weeding, no picking up after everyone else. HMM. Can my hubby handle this- being with the boys for a week? Ha, can't wait to find out. I am looking forward to spending time with the teens since I now have one going into high school and it terrifies me. How do we keep them sweet and innocent? HOW? I am sure I'll find out more information than I ever expected.

So here I am, packing up to go to a college campus for a week. Feel like I need a microwave and mini fridge, but I suppose we can live without it.

Packing up a years worth of yuck. I really thought so much more was packed away, but that is not true. I have been unable to really feel deeply- like I don't seem to cry at things that would normally make me cry. I kinda don't feel anything except flat. But when I am with people I am happy and joyful, but when just alone or living normal, there's just not much there. I am not sure how it all fits in, fits together with everything else.

My sisters sister in law has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, in her nodes, and may be stage 3b. Cancer- cancer- cancer. I want it to have a head to I can poke its eyes out and choke it. It's just everywhere. I feel numbness, not passionate about it right now. Perhaps that is part of the journey, I just don't know.

What is this plan for me? God, what is the plan?

Guess I have my homework for CIY.

Love to all,

Vicki